Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Happy {THIRD} Birthday TT!

It's hard for me to fathom that three years have gone by.  It seems like just yesterday you were performing acrobatics in my belly.  Now you're racing through life full tilt (seriously, every.single.damn.thing.they.say.about.boys - true!  true!  true!)

You are my first born.  My due date baby.  My rebel without a cause.

At this point three years ago, I was bewildered, I was in awe, I was smitten, I was freaking gobsmacked!  I was cradling you, my sweet little man, in my arms and wondering how my life had ever felt complete without you.  I was being told by the nurse to "sleep when you sleep" but I couldn't imagine shutting my eyes... I just wanted to stare at you all night.

Like most first time mom's, I'd spent an inordinate amount of my pregnancy fretting over labour.  This only worsened when a good friend of mine and my sister-in-law were overdue and had long drawn out labours.  On the eve of your due date, I was surprised when I felt like crap (seriously... like.crap).  I called my mom to ask her if my symptoms sounded like labour (she wasn't a lot of help, apparently she doesn't have a idemic memory of what had happened 20yrs+ before), so I called my sister-in-law... who told me to call the hospital.  And I did. 
  • They told me not to rush... call back in an hour.  (You know, first time mom... it's going to be a long drawn out ordeal)
  • An hour later I could barely talk through my contractions!
  • To the hospital we went... I had to tell the hubs to slow.the.fuck.down... he was driving like a maniac!
  • We reach the hospital and into the labour tub I go... I don't know how long I was in there for, it felt like hours but it must have only been 30-45min
  • I started begging for drugs (I'm not proud to admit this... I was scared out of my mind... I couldn't fathom how my body expected me to go through 20hrs+ of this... )
  • I told your father that I wanted something to help me sleep... he laughed at me... I seriously contemplated shoving his head under the water, but a contraction hit
  • My mom & your auntie arrived... apparently I looked like shit (seriously, that's what every labouring women wants to hear... thanks mom ox)
  • Now is where it get's hazy... I had tried "the gas" and it made me feel like my limbs had fallen off and were floating (basically, ewwww gross), and asked for something else... they spent forever and a week trying to find a vein and during that time I started freaking out because I felt like I had to pee (to which the nurse apparently [I don't know, I can't remember] wigged out over that)
  • Someone went to page the O.B. on call, and I told the nurse that I needed.to.push.NOW!
  • 15min later (and three big pushes) and there you were!
  • After 6.5hrs of labour, it was hard to believe that you were finally here... 
Your birth taught me a valuable lesson - to trust my body.  Your birth spurred me to educate myself better on child birth, to prepare myself for round two (aka: C-McC). 

Three years have flown by, like a blink of the eye!
  • You've gone from my little squish to a great big brother
  • You are so full of curiosity - you question everything!
  • I don't care if it is unfashionable to comment on physical appearance - you are one of the most gorgeous boys that I have ever laid eyes on (and I'm not just saying that because I'm your mama, you have sweet curls and to.die.for lashes)
  • You go from zero to danger in 0.5seconds... 
  • You're rough.  You're tumble.  You are so boy!
  • You're not my baby anymore, you start preschool soon and next year *sighs* next year you'll be riding the yellow bus to SCHOOL!

I love you TT, more than you can even imagine.  You will always hold a very special place in my heart... my sweet, wild TT. 

When you curl up on my lap and lovingly pat my face.... look me in the eyes and tell me "I love you mom", my heart melts.  Literally, it melts. 

Your inquisitive nature floors me, just floors me.  The pride that shines from your every pore when you figure out how to do something... or how something works... or what we're spelling (yeah, he's caught on to the cadence of how certain words are spelled... [apparently spelling D-O-R-A in a sing-song voice = bad, very bad] we are so boned) it warms it.  To see you growing and learning... it is an absolute honour!

Happy birthday my dear sweet TT...
Much love,
Your mama

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