Tuesday, July 31, 2012

28 weeks (only 9-14 more to go... )

Wild Card and I had a midwives appointment today... it was the first one that the whole troop did not attend (how weird to not have my other two monkeys in tow... ).

It was a great appointment (aside from my ineptitude at putting test swabs in their container... whoodda thunk you'd need further education to figure those majiggers out); got to hear WCs heartbeat loud & clear (hovering around an excellent 150-ish beats per min), my blood pressure was good (I'm a fluffy mama, and with TT & C-McC my bp was on the high-end of normal, so this is freakin' bliss), we're measuring on... WC was head down (yay, and I am fully aware that at 28weeks there is still room for flipping... I'm hoping Wild Card behaves) and favouring mama's right side, just like their big brother's.

We discussed the home birth and I was given my sheet of supplies... I cannot even express how freakin' giddy I was to look over that list! 

We discussed transfers and my preferences...

I absolutely love that I am treated as a consenting adult (uhhhhh... because I am) and I have never felt like I need to ask for permission to have the birth that I desire.  It is not, 'I want to labour in the tub... if it is okay' but 'I want to labour in the tub' (granted, if I am ever being Queen Ass-hat... and want to do something dangerous and stupid... they [midwives] are not going to ignore that and allow me to blithely carry on my merry little way... ). 

I love that I can sit down and discuss the things about birth, breastfeeding, etc that I am passionate about and know that... they don't think I'm a kook (or if they do, they hide it really well). 

So, Wild Card and I checked out well today and I left our appointment with a smile on my face & a spring in my step...

By this week, your baby weighs nearly 2.3 pounds/ a little over 1 kilograms and may measure 14.8 inches/ 38 centimetres from top to toe. At about this time, your baby can open his eyes and turn his head in utero if he notices a continuous, bright light shining from the outside. His fat layers are forming and his fingernails appear.
From: http://www.babycenter.ca/pregnancy/fetaldevelopment/28weeks/

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

What's in a name?

The hubs and I have pretty stringent criteria for naming our offspring...

We don't just choose names that we like we choose names that have a meaning that speaks to us, this came about when we choose TT's name because it was reminiscent of a late relative that we wanted to honour.  When we found out the meaning; well it was just too fitting not to use!

Along came pregnancy #2 and C-McC-to-be... when we found out that babe was also a boy we immediately picked a name.  A name that we referred to C-McC from 20wks until 34-35wks... when suddenly the hubs and I separately came to the conclusion that our chosen name for C-McC didn't have the same ooomph as his brother TT's name.  We realized that honouring our heritage/family wasn't our only criteria... the meaning had to be special and positive (to us). 

So with #3 on the way, we're on the hunt for the perfect name... Since this mama (and papa) feel that babe is of the female variety, we do have a girl name picked out... but a boy *sighs*... I think we may have used up the ones we love with our boys!

How do you choose names for your children?
Do you have a hard time getting your spouse/partner to agree?
Have you ever named your child in utero, only to change the name because it didn't feel right after babe was born (or as your pregnancy progressed)?


Photo courtesy of http://www.lightstalkers.org/images/show/324517

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

A Recipe For A Messy, Mini-Disaster

Two ~4 year olds + two ~2 year olds + 15 minutes of interrupted quiet = A Messy, Mini-Disaster

This morning (and into the afternoon because we Muddled's like to overstay our welcome) TT, C-McC and I went for a wee visit. 

The Muddled's had a lovely lunch with friends and the mama's enjoyed that the kiddies were playing so.darn.well.together.  They enjoyed it so much that they decided to throw caution (and possibly sanity) to the wind and allowed their darlings to cavort unsupervised in the play room for 15 (interrupted, because C-McC could not leave his mama for that long) blissful minutes. 

The non-Muddled Mama decided 15 minutes (interrupted or not) of silence warranted an inspection... good thing too because the darling angels decided that the play room needed a bit of redecorating. 

There was paint.  Everywhere.  On the wall.  On the floor.  On the children (and by on, I mean in their hair, on their clothes, their feet, well... basically everywhere).  Thank goodness for washable paint!

So much for enjoying a wee chat while our delightful children were quietly playing - silly mama's!

I Gotta Feeling...

and I don't mean the Black Eyed Peas song.

Since before I knew with absolute certainty that I was expecting #3 (or as I've been quietly referring to babe as - my Wild Card), I've had feelings.

I had a strong feeling that I was pregnant (before I could reasonably test)
I had a strong feeling that babe is a girl (again, before I could even test to see if I was actually expecting... I had an almost uncontrollable desire to look through baby name books and only at girl names)
I now have a strong feeling that this babe is going to throw us for an absolute loop (hence Wild Card being my affectionate term of endearment)

I have definitely noticed that this pregnancy has been different... (premonition of things to come?) and I actually have to use the Baby Center Due Date Calculator so that I can remember how far along I was (in contrast with TT I swear I knew right down to the minute, okay slight exaggeration).

If this is baby #2, 3, 4, 5, 6... have you found your pregnancies different?  Have you intuitively known babe's gender, or is that just a misplaced belief on my part?  Did you have any feelings during pregnancy that you realized were well-founded, once babe was born????

"Measuring your baby from top to toe with his legs extended, he is about 14 inches/35.6 centimetres. He weighs a little more than 1.6 pounds/ 760 grams. Your baby's eyes begin to open around now. Response to sound grows more consistent toward the end of the seventh month, when the network of nerves to the ear is complete. He also continues to take small breaths and although he's only breathing in water and not air, it's still good practice for when he's born"  Courtesy of Baby Center Canada

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

{Home Birth Attire}

So, I may have mentioned a time (or more) that the plan for our third babe is to birth at home...

The midwives are chosen
I've called dibs on the birthing pool
My support team is chosen
Back-up (for my boys) is available, if needed
Photographer is booked

So, what to wear?  Since I'm planning a water birth, I'm thinking the top half of a tankini... Since I've got a wicked rack, I need something uber supportive... oh and since birth is a wee bit messy, black (and also not cost an arm & a leg).

I'm leaning towards something like this
(with a black jersey skirt over my bottom for non-pool time)

If you had (or are planning) a home birth... what was your birthing attire?  Or did you even give a damn?

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Birth Photography = Skeevy??? This Mama Doesn't Think So...

When I initially came across the birth picture that I included in my What Do I Want Out of a Homebirth? post, I shared it on my Facebook wall. 

I was absolutely floored at the positive remarks that were left behind by my friends (I know that I'm a bit of a hippie-dippy-trippy gal, and a lot of my friends are too... but I did figure I was in for some negativity and backlash).  So needless to say, I was shocked that all posted responses were along the same vein as my thinking (basically that the picture rocked freakin' monkey balls).

So, today when three people came up to me and commented on how they found it weird, I was a little affronted.  I knew that it would not be everyone's cup o' tea but I didn't think anyone would actually to my face say that they found it a bit much...

You know how people post pictures of cars, vacation resorts, sunsets (etc)... well that picture is my car/vacation resort/sunset.  I look at that picture and just think "holy shit, that is fucking awesome... that is what in my ideal world, birth should be about". 

When there are no interventions (necessary or otherwise), babies are born from vaginas. 

Call me weird, but I think this is pretty awesome!  I think women birthing as they feel is appropriate for themselves and their babe is awesome!  I think it's beautiful and naturalAmazing and abso-freaking-lutely empowering.  Honestly, I think it's something that should be revered not cause revulsion. 

I think that birth (much like breastfeeding) is something we should have an open dialogue about... in the days of yore women used to birth surrounded by a group of women.  What was previously accepted as the norm is now considered eccentric.  Imagine if you knew what birth could be like before you'd had your first child, it wouldn't have been nearly as scary... would it?

(Please note:  I am perfectly aware that medical science has a place in birth... there are certain situations that demand medical interventions.  There are certain situations where the life of mother or child are in danger and the ideal/natural birth is not appropriate... however, this is not true for the majority of births)

If you think birth photography is pretty damn amazing check out DFW birth photographer and Google is your friend, there are a tonne of other birth photographers online.  In my opinion, birth is beautiful.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

A Muddled Mama Get's Political, Again: {FEMINISM}

Allow me to add the following disclaimer:
I, A Muddled Mama, do not consider myself a feminist.  In fact, that particular term makes me cringe.  I am not of the belief that women should get certain benefits simply because they are a woman.  I think that everyone should be hired, promoted, advanced, etc based on their individual qualifications and suitability for the job (gender, race, age and sexual preference should never factor into the consideration).  It is because of this, that I dub myself an Equalist.

Being a mother isn't a real job -- and the men who run the world know itSeriously, this is the sub-headline of the linked article... what an obviously feminist statement to make.  Right?

And so these "feminist" musings continue:

"Let's please be serious grown-ups: real feminists don't depend on men. Real feminists earn a living, have money and means of their own."  Honestly, I was under the impression that the point of the feminist movement was to give women the choice to do as they please, wasn't it?  It was to give women the right (that as one half of the human race, they so obviously deserved) to vote, the right to have a job and the right to live their life as they choose to do so. 

"I don't want everyone to live like me, but I do expect educated and able-bodied women to be holding their own in the world of work."  The author proclaims that she does not want everyone to live their lives like her but (in what seems like the same breath) sneers at the choices of those who do not coincide with her own.

"To be a stay-at-home mom is a privilege, and most of the housewives I have ever met -- none of whom do anything around the house -- live in New York City and Los Angeles, far from Peoria. Only in these major metropolises are there the kinds of jobs in finance and entertainment that allow for a family to live luxe on a single income. In any case, having forgotten everything but the lotus position, these women are the reason their husbands think all women are dumb, and I don't blame them."  The only aspect of this statement that I agree with is that being able to stay home with ones children during their formative years is an absolute privilege.  A privilege that is not limited to the 1% (i.e. the ridiculously wealthy) but one that middle income families can achieve (albeit with a lot of sacrifice; monetary, career and social).  Parent's who choose to stay home with their children do so because they wish to be the primary caregiver for their children.  They choose to do so because they want to saturate themselves in their child's life (before they are too old to want mom or dad to be joined at the hip with them).  They choose to do so because child care costs an arm and a leg (for most) and many weigh the pros and cons of working to to bring home a little more every month.

"A job that anyone can have is not a job, it's a part of life, no matter how important people insist it is (all the insisting is itself overcompensation)"  How absolutely over-simplistic.  Jobs are only jobs if there is an elite niche for them?  So, that cashier at the grocery store working to put themselves through college/university/start their own business/what-freakin'-ever, doesn't actually have a job because "anyone can have" it?

On so many levels, this article disgusted me and honestly, it is one of the reasons I refuse to label myself a feminist.  It absolutely grates on my strong ProChoice core. 

I believe we all have choices to make.  Choices for our families, about what is best for them and best for us.

As a matter of life, one often has to give something up to get something greater.  In most circumstances, literally having it all, is.not.an.option.  So we have choices to make.  We have to critically analyze our lives and see what aspects are of absolute importance and we have to prioritize.  And sometimes, sometimes there are absolutely no choices to be made at.that.point.in.time because sometimes we do what we have to do... just to get by.

But, if one has the opportunity to make choices that suit their lifestyle and their family, shouldn't they be free to do so?

What Do I Want Out of a Homebirth?

"A mother gives birth to her son. This photograph captured a momentous introduction of a mother and baby's first exchange. The baby is suspended in time, half way inside his mother and the world; being guided out by his mother's own hands. Photograph was captured by friend and doula of the mother."

National Geographic Photo Contest, Photo and caption by Tara Garner

This image is being shared all over Facebook, I borrowed it from Sage Beginnings Doula Services


This moment... this is what I want out of my homebirth experience.  I want to be the one catching my child.  I want to realize on my own what babe's gender is.  I want peace & tranquility as we move from a family of four to a family of five. 

These are my wants, I realize that birth (and life for that matter) is not all unicorn farts and rainbows... I realize that things may occur that make my wants unattainable.  

But for now, this is what I want.