Allow me to add the following disclaimer:
I, A Muddled Mama, do not consider myself a feminist. In fact, that particular term makes me cringe. I am not of the belief that women should get certain benefits simply because they are a woman. I think that everyone should be hired, promoted, advanced, etc based on their individual qualifications and suitability for the job (gender, race, age and sexual preference should never factor into the consideration). It is because of this, that I dub myself an Equalist.
Being a mother isn't a real job -- and the men who run the world know it. Seriously, this is the sub-headline of the linked article... what an obviously feminist statement to make. Right?
And so these "feminist" musings continue:
"Let's please be serious grown-ups: real feminists don't depend on men.
Real feminists earn a living, have money and means of their own." Honestly, I was under the impression that the point of the feminist movement was to give women the choice to do as they please, wasn't it? It was to give women the right (that as one half of the human race, they so obviously deserved) to vote, the right to have a job and the right to live their life as they choose to do so.
"I don't want everyone to live like me, but I do expect educated and
able-bodied women to be holding their own in the world of work." The author proclaims that she does not want everyone to live their lives like her but (in what seems like the same breath) sneers at the choices of those who do not coincide with her own.
"To be a stay-at-home mom is a privilege, and most of the housewives I
have ever met -- none of whom do anything around the house -- live in
New York City and Los Angeles, far from Peoria. Only in these major
metropolises are there the kinds of jobs in finance and entertainment
that allow for a family to live luxe on a single income. In any case,
having forgotten everything but the lotus position, these women are the
reason their husbands think all women are dumb, and I don't blame them." The only aspect of this statement that I agree with is that being able to stay home with ones children during their formative years is an absolute privilege. A privilege that is not limited to the 1% (i.e. the ridiculously wealthy) but one that middle income families can achieve (albeit with a lot of sacrifice; monetary, career and social). Parent's who choose to stay home with their children do so because they wish to be the primary caregiver for their children. They choose to do so because they want to saturate themselves in their child's life (before they are too old to want mom or dad to be joined at the hip with them). They choose to do so because child care costs an arm and a leg (for most) and many weigh the pros and cons of working to to bring home a little more every month.
"A job that anyone can have is not a job, it's a part of life, no matter
how important people insist it is (all the insisting is itself
overcompensation)" How absolutely over-simplistic. Jobs are only jobs if there is an elite niche for them? So, that cashier at the grocery store working to put themselves through college/university/start their own business/what-freakin'-ever, doesn't actually have a job because "anyone can have" it?
On so many levels, this article disgusted me and honestly, it is one of the reasons I refuse to label myself a feminist. It absolutely grates on my strong ProChoice core.
I believe we all have choices to make. Choices for our families, about what is best for them and best for us.
As a matter of life, one often has to give something up to get something greater. In most circumstances, literally having it all, is.not.an.option. So we have choices to make. We have to critically analyze our lives and see what aspects are of absolute importance and we have to prioritize. And sometimes, sometimes there are absolutely no choices to be made at.that.point.in.time because sometimes we do what we have to do... just to get by.
But, if one has the opportunity to make choices that suit their lifestyle and their family, shouldn't they be free to do so?